A whiff of nature

A recent camping trip brought to mind my fondest childhood memories in Romania of long hikes and unexplored forests. That early introduction to nature has always left a great impression on my psyche. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve always enjoyed hiking, camping and just being outdoors. It’s where I feel at ease and completely relaxed. (photos taken at Clarence Fahnestock State Park, May 2008)

A continuous bond

I was in Florida a few weeks ago visiting my cousins. It’s seems like every year something is different and every changing. My youngest cousin just took her SAT’s and is almost in college. Her older sister just finished her sophomore year at FSU and is officially an adult. There's also an addition to the family, a step-brother. I finally had the opportunity to meet him and he’s quite the little charmer. I always forget how exhausting yet amazing kids are. Having him around has changed the dynamics of the family and how everyone relates. It also brought to mind memories of my cousins when they where that age. They had a very different experience due to a missing element in their lives, their mother. She wasn’t there to guide, spoil or love them because her life came to an end after a short battle with cancer. Her death was very difficult for the family and unexpected. It was also a new experience for me as a child since I always had a special connection with her. I didn’t know how do deal with the idea of never seeing her again. I also thought about my cousins and the pain they would go through growing up without her. Over the years I’ve tried to be part of their lives and continue that bond that I had with their mother. I see so much of her in them and the progression of life.

Restless nights

It started last Sunday night, my restlessness. I went to bed only to find myself awake at 4am. A loud sound woke me up and I tossed and turned until the alarm clock screamed out loud. As I slowly made my way out of bed I knew Monday was going to be tough. Sleep deprivation, mixed with the start of a mundane work week always leaves me in a strange mood. Tuesday night I found myself wondering alone in downtown Brooklyn tying to catch a cab. After a quick ride home and a late night meal I finally went to bed. After a strange dream I found myself awake again at 4am. I fought the urge to stay awake and managed to get an hour or two of sleep before the dreaded piercing sound of the alarm gave me a jolt. This patterned continued through out the week. Going to bed late, waking up early or in the middle of the night, bizarre dreams. I felt out of step all week as if I was watching myself from a distance. Nothing drastic had changed in my life yet I felt restless and wondered what the symbolic dreams meant. After finally getting some satisfying, uninterrupted sleep I feel like myself again. Out of curiosity I checked the lunar calender, there was a full moon last Sunday.

Rainy England, still glorious

I recently returned from a week long excursion to England. On my way there I had a quick scare at the airport. The ticket agent informed me that my passport had expired a day before. My head went into panic mode and then I realized that I checked the passport a few weeks prior and the expiration date was March 2009, not 08. Crisis averted, made the flight to London. I spent most of my time walking around taking photos and visiting museums. The Design Museum was my favorite. The rest of the time was spent with my cousin, catching up. I also had the opportunity to see some of England’s glorious country side. The scenery was out of a John Crome painting, amazing. Overall I had a great time and I’m still feeling the afterglow from the trip.
More photos

Unsatisfactory decisions

According to a study in the Harvard Mental Health Letter the correlation between conscious thought and a satisfactory decision doesn’t always go hand in hand. Researchers in Amsterdam concluded after doing a series of experiments that when participants were given a complex situation and a long period of time they found their decision unsatisfactory. As oppose to participants that were given a time limit with less information who were often satisfied with the outcome of their decision. Hypothetical examples consisted of renting apartments and purchasing cars along with decisions on recent purchases such as shampoo. Simple products equated to buyers being more satisfied as oppose to purchasing a more complex product such as a camera where buyers were less satisfied. Interestingly enough I find this to be the case when I’m taking photos or drawing. I’m never happy with the outcome if I over think a shot.

A different point of view

I’m in the process of going through my photo archive and reevaluating my photography. I came across some photos I shot many years ago. At the time I was working on putting together a fashion portfolio but ultimately wasn’t happy with results because I could not capture the fake perfection that I was aiming for. I never actually took the time to question why I wanted to shoot fashion. What I didn’t see at the time is how the images work as portraits. I was able to capture the authenticity and the subtle moods of the models. My point of view at the time was skewed by what I wanted to capture which was the essence of the manufactured fashion world. I find it interesting that after so many years I can look at the same photos and see a different purpose and actually appreciate the images.

Present time

It’s been awhile since my last interesting post. I’m not sure why I haven’t been compelled to write anything lately. However I think part of the reason might be that I feel at peace (for the most part) with everything in my life. Hence, less contemplating and over analyzing my life. I have a vague idea of where I want to go in life and I’ve come to the conclusion that at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter because I’m enjoying the present moment. Now and then I forget to do that and slap my hand for a quick reminder. That’s all for now until another life changing experience comes along. (photos: Oct 2007)